Trent started radiation this week. He’s receiving this treatment in conjunction with a chemotherapy drug that is supposed to work symbiotically with radiation. Fun, right? We’ve been preparing for this stage for some time, but it is still unbelievable. Expecially when I think about this happening to my husband and not someone that I used to know, or a friend. It’s my life partner and he’s so strong. He hates it when we compliment him like that because he feels he has no choice but to be strong. He thinks he is no hero because he makes mistakes everyday. But that’s what makes him strong and that’s what makes him a hero. He knows he is weak and that his strength is not his own. It’s his Faith that makes him whole, that gives him the strength to do one more day. I am so happy that I get to do life with this gift and I’m so proud of him for sharing this part of him with you.
A word from a wise man:
So I’m sitting at a traffic light and a tear rolls down my cheek because of the irony in that I’m sitting here and I am upset because I’m late for an appointment to have a machine shoot deadly radiation into my body. Lol, it’s ok laugh! It’s really kinda ridiculous. The things we worry about. What’s most important to you right now? What things make your emotions rise up so much that your body just automatically has a release…a tear. Maybe that’s what it’s all about. Shedding those tears. Letting go of your discomforts and letting things happen in your life the way they’re supposed to. Stop trying to control everything. Let God do what He does.
So, now I’m sitting here waiting to go in (back for radiation) and they are running behind by 3 patients scheduled after me, so I’m 4th. They’re running behind because a hospitalized patient had to come down. Who’s got worse problems? I drove myself here. I may have gone to the wrong place 1st and then ran into a weird Mopac train, u-turn, crappy road signs of Austin and whatever else I was feeling. But, in a minute I will go back and I will take some pictures of what it looks like in the “vault”. It’s quite the experience. While I’m laying there and it zaps me I think “take that, take that!” I’m going to fight this damn disease. Fight it hard. It’s not easy, but what in life is? I’d be conquering the shit outta something else anyway.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I’m not trying to be philosophical or pass some message. I just felt like sharing a peice of my mind. It says “Tell a story”. This is a piece of my story. May you have peace in your life and God bless you and if you are enjoying Friday night have one for me. Peace.